We last left off…

with J’s last ultrasound. It was a promising night, I thought that the Cervidil would work. I was wrong, the next morning I had it taken out and I was about 75% effaced, but still high and closed. I think my Doctor was the one who came in and checked me, and he told them to start the pitocin after I had a liquid breakfast. I think it was like vegetable broth or something, with orange Italian Ice (yuck), and ginger ale.

M and I waited around all day, and tried not to watch the clock. That was hard. I hated having to call a nurse every time I needed to go to the bathroom – I had to be unplugged from the monitors and stuff every time. At some point my Mom came and dropped off snacks for Mike, and I was jealous since I couldn’t eat. She left, and later brought my Dad back at about 6pm. He hung around and read the paper, and my Mom kind of nervously sat around. I think at about 8 my Dr. came back and checked me, I still hadn’t dilated or made any more progress. All throughout the day I was having minor contractions every 2-3 minutes, and a couple times they had to turn the pitocin down because they were too close together and that was risky for J’s heart. But, like I said, they did nothing for me. Soon after, I was told the c-section I knew was coming was a reality.

M was quickly given disposable OR scrubs that were 40 sizes too large for him, and was told to put them on, but PLEASE keep his underwear on. I thought that was hilarious. I was taken off all the monitors. I had the IV line left in my hand, but I was a free reign pregnant lady for a little while once more. I sat around for about a half hour with my parents in the room, while my Mom and M packed up and moved all our bags to our recovery room.

And then it was time. The anesthesiologist came in and asked me if I’ve ever had anesthesia before (lots of times, I am a surgery pro), and walked with me to the OR. I really wasn’t scared or nervous, I was pretty calm and focused. I had been waiting since April 17th, the day we found out I was pregnant, to have J! Mike took one last pic of me walking to the OR and I went in for the spinal. That wasn’t so terrible. I had to sit on the edge of the table, and they kept telling me to lean over more – but I couldn’t! My big belly was in the way! The anesthesiologist injected something to numb me up before the big needle, so when the big needle went in, the only discomfort I felt was an odd crunch for when it entered my spinal column. That was totally gross, but it lasted only a second. I immediately got a little numb, starting with my butt. I had to quickly lay myself down (I had help), because the numbness radiated up my back and down each leg really fast. It wasn’t like I was paralyzed, I was numb and felt very heavy.

Someone put a curtain up right by my face, so I didn’t have to see anything, and I was immediately given some kind of pain medicine through my IV. I think it made me loopy. My OB came in and brought with him the chief of something or other to assist (the head OB of the hospital, whatever that title is). I knew I was in good hands! My OB started singing that Black Eyed Peas song, you know the one, where it goes, “And tonight’s gonna be a good night… tonight’s gonna be a good good night!” So I started singing along, haha. It was the drugs! At this point they brought Mike in and he looked really scared. He has a little tiny thing with hospitals and blood… I was super nervous he’d throw up or pass out.

And I guess this is when they got things started! Mike started talking to me and telling me cute things, but I didn’t want him wrecking my concentration. I felt like I needed absolute silence from him in order to not move, and so I could pay attention. I couldn’t see anything, so I needed all my other senses.  I just felt tugging and pressure, and  I smelled burning when I was opened up. Unfortunately, Mike did see something, and because he couldn’t talk to me, he was looking around. He looked to his left and saw a table full of bloody rags… and turned gray. Then I guess some sort of tube with blood in it got knocked loose and there was scrambling to get it reattached, because blood was going everywhere, and poor Mike had to see this. Mike started sweating, and they got him a wheelchair. The anesthesiologist was super close to making him leave – but Mike would not hear of it and fought through his nausea and was TOTALLY FINE. He said, “No. I’m going to be here when my son is born!” 🙂 And… then all of a sudden… at 9: 48pm… we heard the most beautiful, fluid-filled cry ever. It was our boy, telling us he was here! We totally cried. His lungs got suctioned out and his crying immediately got stronger, so he was wrapped in a blanket and brought over. He was so cute, I immediately fell in love! I think I said, “Hi baby! I’m your Mom! And that’s your Dad! We love you! Happy Birthday!” Something like that. Someone tried to bring hum to my face so I could kiss him, but he wasn’t close enough and I had to do an air kiss. Bummer. They took him away for a bath, and I guess his Apgar scores were 8 & 9. Mike went to follow him out, making sure not to look at the operating table. 🙂

I (obviously) stayed behind to get sewn back up, and was sad I had to and couldn’t go run after my son. It took about a half hour to get sewn and stapled up, and after I made sure to ask my Doctor if he got everything out (like towels and instruments! Ha!). I just wanted to be sure! I was wheeled to recovery, and all seemed well until I started getting my feeling back. Um, I was in pain. A LOT OF PAIN. I was given the maximum dose of morphine and I wasn’t getting better, I was getting worse. So they switched to something else, then something else… the nurse I had looking over me didn’t know what to do and I honestly got the feeling she didn’t believe I was in that much pain after having been given practically the entire pharmacy. So she was not much help, and kept leaving me. I had to try and get her attention by waving my weak arms as frantically as I could, which looked pathetic, but it was all I could muster. Mike kept running back and forth, showing me pictures, but I couldn’t even focus my eyes on my son because I hurt so badly. All I could tell him was that I hurt so badly. I know he realized my pain was serious when I couldn’t even concentrate on pictures of my little boy! Finally my OB came in and gave me something that he later said was used in “end of life care”… oh lord. So finally after 6 hours of recovery, I was wheeled to my room. I got a glimpse of J as I was wheeled past, so I tried to blow him kisses. 😦 He was in the nursery, behind glass, and I still hadn’t kissed his little forehead. I was brought in my room and the nurses expected me to have some strength and lift myself onto the bed. Hahaha. I actually had to practically yell at them to get them to believe I just couldn’t do it. I had absolutely zero strength to do anything. It was 3am, I had a human being surgically extracted from my body, and then was writhing in pain for 6 hours after that. Not to mention I was all hopped up on drugs, and could barely see my surroundings.

After I was made comfortable, Mike and I both passed out asleep. I was exhausted. I was so tired, I forgot I had a baby. But when I was woken up the next morning at about 7 by a nurse, I remembered. And they brought me my baby, and I could hold him, and I could finally kiss him. Over 9 hours after he was born, he was finally mine. And what a beautiful feeling it was. I am still really sad about not recovering well, and the rest of the time in the hospital was pretty awful, considering my drug intolerance. But I had my new boy, and my man, and we got through it. And here we are 3 weeks later, getting used to our new life, but loving every second.

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